Home of the Soul Cookie

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1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
The Truth in Shadows

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?

“Bring Me to Life” performed by Evanescence
“Cross My Heart” performed by Eighth Wonder
“The Distance” performed by Cake
“Hazy Shade of Winter” performed by the Bangles
“I Touch Myself” performed by Divinyls
“In the Car” performed by Barenaked Ladies
“Kiss Me” performed by Sixpence None the Richer
“Magic” performed by Olivia Newton-John
“One Caress” performed by Depeche Mode
“One Night in Bangkok” performed by Murray Head
“Particle Man” performed by They Might Be Giants
“Skin” performed by Oingo Boingo
“Thankyou” performed by Dido
“Walk on the Ocean” performed by Toad the Wet Sprocket
“When You’re Strange” performed by Echo and the Bunnymen

And a special bonus track:
“Particle Man [Disneyland tram version]” by Kevin and Scott

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Since it’d be a dialogue-heavy, special effects-light flick, it would be better constructed as a live-action picture.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Difficult. Difficult at best.

Me: Zach Braff or Jerry O’Connell
Mom: Angelica Huston
Dad: Rob Reiner
Sister: Anna Paquin
The Ex: never seen, just referred to (à la Maris on “Frasier”)
Jason: John Cusack
Kris: Robin Wright Penn
Amber: herself!
Troll: Horatio Sanz
Noelle: Julia Stiles
Scott: Tobey Maguire
Amy: Gillian Anderson

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
It’ll probably have two trailers, one serious, one silly. Here’s what might pass for the silly one (if you’re drunk enough):

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED
HEAVEN AND EARTH...

     SFX
BIG FLASH OF LIGHT!
Reveal the Earth,
                  lush,
floating in space.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...AND SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.

The camera ZOOMS IN to the Earth,
stopping at the GARDEN OF EDEN.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
ON THE SIXTH DAY, GOD CREATED
MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE...

     SFX
POOF! ADAM pops into being.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...AND WAS PLEASED.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o, cont.)
SOME TIME LATER...

Cut to KEVIN,
  headphones on,
    eyes closed,
      head bopping,
        dancing/flailing to music
        that we can't hear.

     KEVIN (singing)
CROSS MY HEART, HOPE TO DIE,
MAY LIGHTNING STRIKE ME IF
I'M TELLIN' A LIE...

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...HE WAS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL.

Rapid cuts between scenes from the movie
as the voiceover continues.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT
YOU FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY,
TROLL 2, AND MANOS, THE
HANDS OF FATE COMES
A COMING OF AGE STORY...
     (beat)
...WITH A FEW SCREWS LOOSE.

And now, the money shot: show the title:
"THE TRUTH IN SHADOWS"