Home of the Soul Cookie

Marker… speed… ACTION! http://www.fridayfive.org/

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
The Truth in Shadows

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?

“Bring Me to Life” performed by Evanescence
“Cross My Heart” performed by Eighth Wonder
“The Distance” performed by Cake
“Hazy Shade of Winter” performed by the Bangles
“I Touch Myself” performed by Divinyls
“In the Car” performed by Barenaked Ladies
“Kiss Me” performed by Sixpence None the Richer
“Magic” performed by Olivia Newton-John
“One Caress” performed by Depeche Mode
“One Night in Bangkok” performed by Murray Head
“Particle Man” performed by They Might Be Giants
“Skin” performed by Oingo Boingo
“Thankyou” performed by Dido
“Walk on the Ocean” performed by Toad the Wet Sprocket
“When You’re Strange” performed by Echo and the Bunnymen

And a special bonus track:
“Particle Man [Disneyland tram version]” by Kevin and Scott

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Since it’d be a dialogue-heavy, special effects-light flick, it would be better constructed as a live-action picture.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Difficult. Difficult at best.

Me: Zach Braff or Jerry O’Connell
Mom: Angelica Huston
Dad: Rob Reiner
Sister: Anna Paquin
The Ex: never seen, just referred to (à la Maris on “Frasier”)
Jason: John Cusack
Kris: Robin Wright Penn
Amber: herself!
Troll: Horatio Sanz
Noelle: Julia Stiles
Scott: Tobey Maguire
Amy: Gillian Anderson

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
It’ll probably have two trailers, one serious, one silly. Here’s what might pass for the silly one (if you’re drunk enough):

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED
HEAVEN AND EARTH...

     SFX
BIG FLASH OF LIGHT!
Reveal the Earth,
                  lush,
floating in space.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...AND SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.

The camera ZOOMS IN to the Earth,
stopping at the GARDEN OF EDEN.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
ON THE SIXTH DAY, GOD CREATED
MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE...

     SFX
POOF! ADAM pops into being.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...AND WAS PLEASED.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o, cont.)
SOME TIME LATER...

Cut to KEVIN,
  headphones on,
    eyes closed,
      head bopping,
        dancing/flailing to music
        that we can't hear.

     KEVIN (singing)
CROSS MY HEART, HOPE TO DIE,
MAY LIGHTNING STRIKE ME IF
I'M TELLIN' A LIE...

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
...HE WAS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL.

Rapid cuts between scenes from the movie
as the voiceover continues.

     ANNOUNCER (v.o)
FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT
YOU FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY,
TROLL 2, AND MANOS, THE
HANDS OF FATE COMES
A COMING OF AGE STORY...
     (beat)
...WITH A FEW SCREWS LOOSE.

And now, the money shot: show the title:
"THE TRUTH IN SHADOWS"

I stand in the garden courtyard,
the moon, bright and full,
sharing her light with me,
casts shadows
about the plaza.

The winter air, sweet and crisp,
changes my breaths into
beautiful clouds of crystal and ice.

It is a night when I should
want to be inside,
secure under a mountain of down and fabric.
But this is the night when I could
be nowhere else.

And then the shadow parts
and You are there.

Selene’s light dances upon Your skin,
pale and smooth,
soft porcelain.

You glide,
wordlessly,
across the courtyard,
Your ebon gown dancing
on a spectral breeze.

It takes but a slight nod of Your head
for me to shed my nightdress
and be cloaked in
naught but moonlight
and Your gaze.

You circle me,
tracing the contours of my flesh,
Your cool touch electric.
Your eyes,
piercing emeralds ringed in kohl,
mirror the hunger that
burns within me.

I want You.
And You know it.

I endure an eternity of lustful anticipation
until You come to rest
behind me.
You gently sweep aside my curls,
baring my nape and shoulder.

And then You lick,
playfully,
tormenting me by denying me
Your embrace
for that much longer.

I struggle not to tremble
in abject lasciviousness, but
Your hand strays down my body,
a dark-tipped talon
darting into me,
the wet inferno You find there
betraying me further.

One caress.

That’s all I can think of.

You turn me to face You
and I lose myself
as I have so many times in
Your eyes,
Your lips,
Your scent.

You bring your finger to my lips
and I suck,
wantonly,
cleaning your hand of my juices.

Then, cradling my hair,
You tilt my head slightly.
As You lean in close
Your hair tumbles onto my neck,
unexpectedly tickling.
My eyes close of their own volition.

My breathing, ragged and hot now.
I want it.
I want You.
Please.
Please.
Please!

And then You do.

It is fierce and brutal
as You lose Yourself
in my sanguinary delights.
But the pain is a trivial concern next to
the rapturous sensual ecstacy
that Your caress brings.

A gentle warmth
flows down my shoulder,
my chest,
and the chill of the evening air
doesn’t bother me any more.

And as my heart stills
and I surrender to the shadow
I know that I am Yours completely
now and for all time.

And I smile.

What do you think?

Wow. More than two months since my last update. That’s pretty sad (in the "what the fuck has he been doing?" sense, not the "stereotypical country music song" sense).

The problem with writing one of these things is that I am not sure what to write.

Do I discuss my guilty pleasures - that I really do like Britney Spears, the commercials that air during the Super Bowl, and Dexter’s Laboratory? That I’m really, really excited about the new JLA cartoon series just announced (with Kevin Conroy returning again as the voice of Batman)? That commercials for hair care products - you know, the ones with the beautiful women who have long, beautiful, flowing hair - absolutely captivate me?

I suppose I could divulge all my deepest, darkest secrets, the ones about myself that even my closest friends in the world don’t necessarily know. Wouldn’t that be something? Secrets that I haven’t shared - or can’t share - with those dear to me I instead post up here, for all the world to see (and for Google to archive for future generations)! Well… let me give you the teensiest, tiniest clue: not gonna happen. Not here, anyway. There’s a damn fine reason why the concepts of "public" and "private" exist, thankyouverymuch. No public discussion of The Secret World of Kevin.

So do I instead discuss my seemingly endless fear? That I’m afraid to write because I’m afraid it won’t be good - scratch that - …because I’m afraid it won’t be perfect? I think I’m gifted, but I harbor the same damn insecurity I have had for a long time, that maybe I’m just fooling myself, that any monkey with a typewriter could churn out better dreck than I can. “Than I can….” I can, but I don’t. I suppose it’s a bit like exercise (which I’ve just started seriously attempting for the first time in my life, and left me tell you: it’s a bitch), in that the first time doing it’s the hardest. Once that’s done, the next hardest time is the second try, and so on… I want to write, and so I think it’s time I stopped worrying all the stupid what ifs and but hows and just started WRITING. (What a fuckin’ concept, eh?) To reuse/overuse the exercise comparison, I’ve got to start working my literary muscles so that I can, as JMS put it, get past writing the crap that I inevitably will, and get on to the really good stuff that’s somewhere inside me. ‘Cause the alternative is looking back from ten more years down the road and lamenting all the wasted time and all the missed possibilities - and that scares me more than putting some dinky words down on paper.

I read once somewhere - in Oprah’s fitness book of a few years back, I think - something along these lines: A fitness trainer was discussing the timeline of his client’s physical fitness plan with her. She was upset that he was discussing the plan in terms of years. “Look,” he said. “You’re what, 35 now?” She nodded. “And if you do this for three years, how old will you be?” Thirty-eight, she responded. “Right. Now, how old will you be if you don’t do this?”

And therein lies my challenge. Time will pass. Ten years from now, will I look back at this time in my life as the point where I got my act together and shaped my destiny as I saw fit? Or will this be just another year in a life of temporal flotsam?

Time will tell.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll find something to discuss eventually. If you’ve got something that I should rant about up here, drop me a line and let me know.